FIELD NOTES FROM SELF

I hope others see me. I hope I am present enough for them to feel who I am.

I strive for transparency. I am transparent in the mind and with my voice but I want to be fully transparent in the heart: to love without boundaries, unconditionally.

I love love. I love nature. I believe in God. I believe nature is God. I am nature. I am God. You are God. I see you. I want my heart to see all of you, and all of me.

We are our hearts. The more we love, the bigger they grow. I want to grow my heart big enough to fit the whole world inside.

As we let other in, we let ego out. Let go of ego and make space in your heart. 

FEATURED:: DREAMWEAVING

In September, my dear friend Elissa of Happy Mindful People asked me to be a guest writer on her blog. I deeply appreciate and honor Elissa's work. She is one of the biggest advocates for love and kindness that I know.  

 

WHAT IS YOUR WORK?

In the past, coming face to face with this question triggered an immense amount of confusion and deep rooted self-judgement. It has taken me a long time to find my place in this sweet, ever-changing world. I’m not implying that I have arrivedMore accurately, I realized I wasn’t ever going to arrive. Our live's - made up of wants, needs, desires, expectations, emotions, connections, etc - are always shifting shape. I believe the real mission is to find balance and peace in the present moment on our journey towards nothing and everything, trusting we are right where we need to be. 

 

Most of my adult life I have been self-employed, hired freelance or worked as an independent contractor. This type of work has its pros and cons just as anything else, but it definitely takes discipline and a lot of faith. i had to hustle and I had to trust. I had to find a way to balance the logistics of running a business while feeding my creative pursuits. Being able to ebb and flow between left and right brain is a blessing and a curse. It allows for self-sufficiency and rapid growth but can easily lead to burnout and control issues 

 

I moved to Portland in the summer of 2011. Over the last four years I’ve had more than a handful of jobs most overlapping on on-going. Since my relocation, I’ve taken solo entrepreneur business courses, a digital photography intensive, classes in textiles, metal-smithing and ceramics, trained under a florist, and studied plant medicine.  I was seeking experience and craving knowledge. It felt like every time I told someone my story, they all said the same thing - Find your niche. Define your market. Just pick something. But my gut was saying otherwise. My intuition told me to keep looking, keep studying, keep learning. When a new job, partnership or derailed opportunity presented itself, my heart said Try it.

 

So, that’s what I did. I surrendered to the flow. I let go and I allowed my life to show up for me. All I had to do was accept. I didn't know why I was doing these things and I didn’t know where they were leading me. I had a new plan everyday - I'll be an herbalist, a shoe-maker, a visionary, a farmer, a teacher (these were all real considerations)There have been moments where it has been hard for me to keep up with me. Although I was surrendering to the flow, at times I felt more like I was floating away. I was constantly thinking about what job I would have, what I was going to do for a living, what I was going to be. That’s how we are trained to think. We study and then we become something. I found it more and more difficult to define myself and my work. I wasn’t in a box. I didn’t have a label or title and that was very confusing. But again, in my heart I felt safe and I knew my intuition was leading me somewhere.

 

When I was asked what I do, I did one of two things. I respond with my work history, usually going something like, "Well, I've been a hair stylist for the last 12 years. I studied fashion design and ended up graduating with a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree in Textiles. And, you know, what do you really do with an art degree? So, since I had a trade I just kept doing hair. Oh, and I make jewelry." And later, when I thought I was moving forward, it went something like, "Well, I used be a hair stylist, but I kind of retired because now I'm only in the salon once a week. I have a company called HeartCave and I design jewelry and make essential oils blends that are connected to symbolism, intention and communion. But, it's more than that. Its bigger than that. I just haven't been able to define it yet. Oh, and I want to be an artist."

 

What I noticed was, I quickly relied on my past to give value to my current work or spoke of confusing details about my unknown future and desires to be an artist. Why did I feel the need to justify my present with stories of the past or the future? What is an artist anyway and how do I be one? Where was I right now? What do I do?

 

I began to get curious about myself, my place in the now and what made me unique. It wasn't until I was prompted to write this entry that I really got honest about it, realized where I was now and began to feel immense gratitude for trusting my intuition to guide me to a place beyond my wildest dreams. What a blessing it is to share my story on this platform. Thank you Elissa. Thank you Happy Mindful People. Thank you self - for being brave and getting real. Happiness is the immediate emotional response to gratitude. Simply by feeling grateful we conjure up joy and begin to manifest further joy in our lives. 


So, the burning question, What do I do?  Well, still lots, but I've found the common thread. My purpose is to connect and create. I connect with people, plants, myself and Source. My medium for creation shifts between metal, textiles, essential oils, imagery and manifestation. The point is, I feel inspired and balanced. I am safe and I am able to provide for myself. I own a business authentically aligned with my passion and purpose of intention, symbolism and communion with whoever is called to listen. I softly fell into a position working freelance for a company that I firmly believe in. They too are balanced in creativity, spirit and business. Their work has depth and integrity. My position within the company has a familiar title but my work is beyond a role I could have dreamt up for myself.

Owner of HEARTCAVE - a space devoted to creating and curating of ALL THAT IS :: the timeless and majestic, the oneness between all beings and the collective consciousness.

www.shopheartcave.com

Creative Director at The Wild Unknown

www.thewildunknown.com


The HOW ::

What I haven't mentioned about this journey is my focus on personal development. It began with strengthening my relationship to nature and starting a daily practice with essential oils and flower essences. We are intrinsically interconnected to all the elements here on the earth and in the cosmos. Be connecting with the elements, we are growing our connection with ourselves and our divine intelligence.

I also made it a point to start identifying as an artist, creating my life. I think in pictures. I turn feelings into photos and vice versa. I learned how to use my practical, career-based skills to support my true work - being a dreamer deeply rooted in trusting the universe and the art of manifestation. I continue to dig deep - figure out what inspires me at the moment, how I want to feel and what I want to call in. I develop a tone, fine tune the concept/direction and create a moodboard. This creates non-duality in my life. My work and my pleasure centers of creation and connection are one. 

Instead of thinking about what position or career my skills would fit into, I started thinking about how I wanted to feel when I worked. I took note of pleasurable activities. When I sat in the park surrounded by the trees, I left feeling really good. For me, that didn’t mean I should be a park ranger or landscaper. I simply took note of the feelings. I started to write them down, words like - calm, graceful, rooted, free, inspired, alive. I started collecting beautiful imagery of plants, spaces, places and people from print publications and sites like Pinterest. Anything I got online, I would send to be printed. It was important for me to see and touch them in real life. I’d pull swatches of fabric that felt sweet on my skin and go to the paint store for colors that reflected those feelings. I began treating my life as I would a client and that allowed me to show up for myself with greater clarity and accountability.

 

Advice ::

Be compassionate, first to yourself. If you haven't felt true compassion for yourself or your circumstance, you're just going around feeling sorry for people. Follow your intuition. Allow your life to take shape without force. Trust your experience. Release resistance. Detach from outcome. Make space for rest and self-care

Ways to support and clarify Who am I? And what am I doing here? Practices to evoke consciousness and awareness of self.

  • Practice the powerful of the pen. Write down goals, desires, feelings you want to have and anything that inspires you.
  • Start a collection of images that motivate, stimulate and awaken your dreams.
  • Have conversation with like-minded people. These people will likely start to form your tribe.
  • Go to nature
  • Work with essential oils
  • Meditate
  • Move/Practice Yoga
  • Bring awareness to the breathe
  • Eat foods that support your body
  • Read

 

Favorite Books ::

The Book of The Heart Amit Singh

Partner Earth Pam Montgomery

Plant Spirit Healing Pam Montgomery

The Secret Lives of Plants Christopher Bird

Yoga for a World Out of Balance Michael Stone

The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle

Love Everyone Parvati Markus

 

Ways to sink into the heart ::

Give thanks

Be kind

Practice non-violence

Speak truth and avoid gossip

Go to the park

Acknowledge the moon

Buy or pick flowers

Peel an orange, slowly

Donate or give something away, like a compliment

 

we are unique. we are different. we are the same. we are the same.

Major girl crush on the talented beauty and my favorite up and coming photog - Chelsea Marie McKenny. Currently living in Portland, Oregon. Chelsea Marie - continuall on IG - captures a self portrait everyday for 365 days. Her work evokes strength and power juxtaposed with tenderness and sensuality. The images feel raw, emotional and deeply authentic.  

Chelsea Marie describes her inspiration for the work as 

An exploration in becoming my honest self through a creative device which dually keeps me tangibly self aware and aware of the world around me.

All images on this blog are copyright to there respectful owner Chelsea Marie McKenny

E R I K A A S T R I D+ S U P E R B M A G A Z I N E

Our designer's wardrobe styling - J E N Y A - was just featured on Superb Magazine. Check out the full spread . Photography by the ever mind-blowing Erika Astrid. Threads from Nahanni Arntzen + Kate Towers. Shoes from Rachel Sees Snail Shoes. MUAH by Sarah Adams. Jewelry from HEARTCAVE. 


Recap :: FULL FLOWER MOON GATHERING WORKSHOP

22 radical creative women+

full flower moon+

mama ocean+

F U L L grand-mama flower moon+

vintage airstream trailers and lodge+

crystal wisdom+

tarot journeying+

plant spirit medicine+

co-created flower mandala+

sauna and floral masks+

open hearts+

budding friendships +

This F U L L  F L O W E R  M O O N  G A T H E R I N G was filled with vast amounts of love, joy and magic! New friendships abound. I'm riding this wave of ever-changing emotion as my subtle body adjusts - shifting into new perspectives, deepening self-acceptance, radiating love and surrendering to the flow of life with grace and ease. As I allow this experience to dissolve resistance, I find myself with more energy and a heightened awareness. Words can't describe the impact of our tribe that weekend but we invite anyone seeking sisterhood, support and communion to surrender to the calling and join us next time. Follow our Facebook page here and visit the curator's, Caroline Marie Griffin, website for details on dates and registration. 

All the women who show up - host, guest-host or simply attendees - bring their own unique piece to this cosmic puzzle. We are all equal. We are all powerful to this practice. HEARTCAVE/Kate Rutter (that's me!) attended as a host to share plant spirit wisdom and lead a co-created public installation. This moon's work was tuning into our truths. I spoke of plants as beings and shared how I commune with them to find balance in my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body. Later, I led a ceremony where we used flowers as a potent gateway from our earthly realm into the cosmic realm to seek guidance and magnify manifestation. Through intention and the crafting of a mandala, we strengthened our inner voice and created a new dialog with the universe. One of connectedness and compassion. Later that evening, under the brightness of the moon, we surrendered the mandala into the ocean to give back to the Mother for providing us with her wisdom. What a blessing. 

 

I wanted to send out a special t h a n k  y o u  to Jill Mason of Starflower for helping us with a last minute flower haul to make this mandala even bigger and more beautiful. We appreciate your kind offering.


beach instax
trailer
golden sunset
mandala
panorama mandala
remains
beach babe



Recap :: FULL MOON GATHERING WORKSHOP

We were so honored to participate in the first FULL MOON GATHERING Workshop hosted by Caroline Marie Griffin. It was truly a magical experience to be surrounded by creative women alike at the Sou'Wester Lodge and Trailer Park on the coast of Washington.

The Full Moon was in the water sign of Cancer while it poured buckets during our candle-lit ceremony. As we released old patterns and attachments that no longer served us in this New Year, we called on plant medicine and our new tribe of sisterhood to support each other in this process. We sat momentarily with this newly cleared energy to appreciate the emptiness or better yet openness. Next, we called in new intentions one by one as we infused salts with essential oils and tea leaves.

 

The next event is scheduled for March 6-8th. It will focus on self-love and rekindling the flame. I hope to you see MAGIC CREATIVE FORCES there! 

fullmoon pop up
dancing women


Full Moon Gathering Workshops - With the company of other radical female Creatives, these retreats set the foundation for deep and powerful relationships, inspire creative growth and provide the opportunity to reconnect with your social, emotional and creative networks.

Hosted by Atelier Cornelia's Caroline Marie Griffin, attendees spend two days partaking in conversation, workshop activities, breathtaking coastal views and delicious lodge-cooked meals (with the best of company). Guest hosts in attendance lead small group activities or talks on shifting topics of interest. In addition, the retreat hosts musical performances on Saturday nights, tarot or psychic readings, candlelit moon ceremony & the Full Moon Pop-Up Shop. 

(words taken from Atelier Cornelia's Caroline Marie Griffin)

BLATANT / ILLUSION

What I love about this series is how blatant the configuration is - so straightforward - while holding an evocative power. It's a completely transparent illusion that is capable of retaining its magic. Here's to one of our utmost human liberties: the capacity to express, create and revel. 

PHOTO COTERIE

Last weekend we were invited to spend two days on the Washington Coast in a small town called Seaview.

Destination - The Sou'Wester Lodge, a campground with vintage travel trailers, private cabins, an honor system thrift shop, a sauna and a main lodge where the staff lives year round. 

Reason for visit - We were asked to be the photography subject for our friend Phil Chester. Phil is super great. He's equally funny as he is talented and always a sure fire good time.

He teamed up with fellow photographers Ryan Muirhead and Dylan & Sara to create PHOTO COTERIE - a traveling photography shindig. Their goal is to help emerging photographers build confidence in their style and brand through these weekend workshops. 

To our surprise, another dear friend would be there too, Meredith Adelaide. She was the subject for Ryan during the workshop but naturally documented the weekend with here killer photo skills. Meredith has this radiant energy about her. She's authentic. She's probably one of the kindest people I know, always willing to share her knowledge and connections with an open heart. She does it all - photography, modeling, acting, writing and beyond. Gosh, we love her. So, here are a few of her photos to give you a glimpse into our special weekend. 


DREAMS

Here are two seemingly juxtaposing series: one 2D and b+w, the other 3D and roygbiv. Initially, I was simply drawn to their immense simplicity. So stark but highly conceptual. An inertia within both that is so alluring. But upon closer look - reading the artist statements and understanding the artists' processes and reasonings - these lost their innocent, dream-like states and brought everything to a darker center: we are losing sight of how the environment is perishing. Perhaps we're not even losing sight, we're simply not looking. I wanted to turn away from this ... and choose something a bit more uplifting for this week's inspiration, but it's so important not to turn away each and every time we're faced with this reality. Instead, I allow this work to inspire us and to challenge us to create just as significantly vocal and poignant craft. New dreams!

INSIDER: The Beginning

THIS IS our first post to commence our "Insider", a series detailing the successes, challenges and interworking in-house at HEARTCAVE. As a means for us to let out all the clutter of brainstorms and dreamstorms and to-do lists, we want to give you a look into how and why we're doing what we're doing. 

Having launched on Oct 14, 2014, HeartCave no longer lives in a "dreamstorm" state; it is now alive and pulsing in our ethnosphere with its own expectations, fears and chances to be taken. This is both terrifying and exhilarating. We've spent many days in furniture-less apartments building this amalgamation of our visions and desires. Through the wisps of words and ideas, we discovered this: we want to create, we want to curate and we want to build a space where mindful, intentional craft is beloved and showcased. We want to provide a space where craft is conceptualized by people like us and where craft can serve as both form and function.